Lakewood, Washington is an, *ahem* interesting place to live. Situated just a hair north of Joint-Base Lewis-McChord, Lakewood has the aura of a “military town”…slightly dangerous, slightly weird, with an almost seemingly endless amount of odd moments occurring that leave troops laughing and cracking jokes and superiors issuing warnings and do-not-patronize orders. Name it…drunk and disorderly conduct, drugs, soldiers showing their ass on Friday and Saturday nights, and that’s before you take in the rest of the town. It’s a fairly common theme in a lot of towns that are close to big military bases…but trust me, after years of living in the area and half a decade living right next to Lakewood, you would think that I would’ve seen and heard just about any and everything that could happen there. But without a doubt, the news coming out of Washington State is stunning, because this is the kind of thing that you’d joke about with your friends after a beer or two, not what you’d expect to see on the 5 o’clock news.
A 51-year-old man is facing a litany of charges, including driving under the influence, reckless driving, hit-and-run and felony eluding after the Washington State Patrol chased him from south of Seattle fifty miles north to Arlington, where officers were able to stop the 1996 Buick he was a passenger in. Fifty miles of Interstate 5 traffic, two hit-and-run crashes in Seattle, and it took spike strips to get the chase to come to an end. And yeah, passenger…I said that right. I’m quoting KOMO 4 (ABC)’s explanation of what was going on verbatim from their story:
“Troopers said the man told them he was teaching his dog how to drive and the pit bull was found in the driver’s seat while the man was steering the driving wheel.”
I….I’m sorry, WHAT. Sir, the world’s going crazy enough without this. Enjoy your padded cell. Meanwhile, somebody get that dog a treat and some lessons at Bondurant. Only two accidents between south Seattle and Arlington while doing 100+ mph is an achievement!
KOMO 4 News story link: High-Speed Chase with a Pit Bull Driving
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